13. Home

EPOV

When Bella went downstairs, I immediately started flipping through that damn album, looking for pictures of the monster that had tortured my Bella not so long ago. While I was searching, I took my phone out and dialed Carlisle's cell number. He picked up on the second ring and I quickly explained what had just happened and everything that Bella had told me, asking him to inform everyone that there is the possibility of a second personality coming around.


During our conversation, I found six pictures of that fucker. I was getting ready to destroy them, when Carlisle told me not to. He said that they could be a vital tool in her therapy that he would be putting her through. I was hesitant, remembering my Bella’s panic and pain, but the educated doctor in me ultimately agreed. The reaction that Bella had from that picture told me that it could be a very useful visual prompt when trying to probe into those repressed memories.


So after putting the album in the box, I taped it up and put those six pictures in my wallet, then stuck my wallet back in my jean's pocket. I walked downstairs with the last box and saw Bella sitting on the couch watching Family Guy. I told her to stay put while I packed the boxes into the car, then we would be on our way.

When I was finished and walked back into the house to get Bella, she was writing a letter to Charlie, informing him that she was all moved out and that she would give him her phone number when she got the cell phone I’d be buying her next week.


“Bella are you ready?” I asked, standing in the doorway.

I wanted to get her home so that she could eat her dinner and then we could get her unpacked. I wanted her to be all settled in and comfortable before bedtime.


I was also suddenly anxious about another personality being a possibility. Marie is a handful and a fucking fireball, and then there’s my Bella. My sweet, broken Bella. I need to give her so much attention and affection, that I just don’t know how I’m going to handle having a third alternate Bella around. One that is a child? Will she be a handful too?


I wanted to get her to the house, so that in case something happened, then Carlisle would be there. I could handle her all by myself easily, but Carlisle was her doctor, not me. He would need to witness anything that happens. He has already missed so much of Marie and it has only been one day.


“Yeah,” Bella said while putting the cap back on her pen.

She then followed me out to my Volvo after locking up the house and we were on our way home.


“Sweetheart, when we get there, just go on inside, okay? Esme should have your dinner ready and I’m going to bring these boxes up to our bedroom. Alice asked if she could unpack your clothes and I told her that she could. I hope that’s alright,” I said then kissed her knuckles on the hand that I was currently holding.


She nodded, “Yeah that’s fine, but I want to unpack my books and movies and stuff.”


“That’s fine. I’ll get started on those while your eating, then when you’re done, you can unpack the kitchen and bathroom boxes,” I suggested.


“Yeah, okay,” she agreed, and turned on some music.

Bella relaxed back into her seat and I found myself almost wishing that Marie would come out and sing along to the songs for me.


When we got home, Bella went inside and I started bringing all the boxes in, along with the trash bag full of her dirty clothes. While Bella was eating, Carlisle joined her for some conversation. I was glad that he was keeping her company while I took care of settling in all of my Bella's belongings.


Esme came over and took the trash bag off my hands, heading over to the laundry room. Alice joined me in my room and ripped open the two boxes full of Bella’s casual clothes, putting them in their respective places.

While upstairs, busy with unpacking, I kept monitoring Bella downstairs through Carlisle’s mind. I knew that she was fine, but I felt a compulsive need to keep a constant eye on her.


I sat down on the floor and began to unpack all of her books into the two new bookshelves that Alice had put in here this afternoon. After I was done with those, I got her dvds, cds and Nintendo DS stuff out of their box and just set those down on the bed. I would let her put those wherever she liked.


I took her small boom box into the bathroom and set it up in there for her since I already had a stereo system in our bedroom. I smiled at the thought of Marie singing along to the radio in the shower.


I put the box labeled ‘Bella’s Crap for the Bathroom’ in the bathroom, leaving it for her to unpack before she showered tonight. Then I picked up the box that was labeled for the kitchen and headed downstairs.

When I passed by Bella at the dining room table, I quickly gave the top of her head a kiss like she had done with me earlier today, then proceeded into the kitchen. Once I set the box on top of the counter, I walked back over to the dining room table.

Taking a seat and relaxing next to my Bella, I started running my fingers through her long, beautiful hair while she ate some mashed potatoes and carried on her conversation with Carlisle.

She had just finished telling him what she had told me earlier about her past and the fact that she had heard this younger personality’s voice in her head when she saw a picture of the one named Jim. She was very uneasy about hearing this small voice, and I could understand her apprehension on the matter.


Hmmm…Jim. Short for James. Coincidence? Carlisle suddenly thought at me.


Woah…


Now that would be a crazy coincidence: if the vampire I had destroyed last year whom was so intent on hurting Bella to get at me, turned out to actually be this Jim person turned undead.

But they didn’t look anything alike.

I imperceptibly shook my head at him. I would show him the cursed pictures soon, so he could confirm for himself that Jim was, in fact, not James.

I heard Esme’s thoughts then, telling me that she was unpacking the kitchen box for Bella, then would go on upstairs and proceed to set up Bella’s bathroom for her. Esme cared about Bella very much, but felt so helpless as to what to do about this situation, so she had resolved to just make her stay here as comfortable as possible.

I quietly whispered a thanks to Esme and continued on, listening to Carlisle’s conversation with my Bella.

Bella was nibbling on her corn-on-the-cob when Carlisle notified me that he was bringing up the idea that he had about the potentially-hazardous pictures.

I braced myself for Bella’s reaction then gave Carlisle a slight nod.


“Bella...hun, I’m going to tell you something that may upset you,” he started before he paused to gauge her reaction.


She put the corn down and furrowed her brow. “What?” she asked bluntly.


“Edward called me a little while ago, while you two were packing and notified me of these pictures…the ones that caused you to have your panic attack.”


“One. It was just one picture,” she corrected him before turning her head to me. “Were there any more?” she asked me.


I nodded in response and she mumbled an ‘okay’ before turning her gaze back to Carlisle.


“Bella, I asked him not to destroy those pictures, be-”


She gasped, “Why?” she demanded


“If you’ll give me a minute to explain…” he paused and when she was silent, he continued. “Gauging from the reaction you had to that particular picture, I can guarantee you that it is necessary for your therapy and it will help you in the long run. It will be an excellent visual prompt for some of your repressed memories that we have to dig out in order for you to truly start to recover. I apologize in advance for any distress this will cause you…because, Bella, you will be in distress,” he informed her.


After a minute, she replied weakly, “I know. I know I’ll be ‘in distress’. But whatever. Whatever you think will help, then okay..." she said, sounding completely defeated before her gaze turned to me.


“You promised me,” she accused in a whispered voice that cracked.

She looked so betrayed in that moment that I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to rip those damn pictures up right fucking now and save her from all the pain her therapy would cause, but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t because I love her.

And I want and need what’s best for her.

And what’s best for Bella is for her to get better.


“Bella, I love you. And this is for the best,” I reasoned with her, then went to kiss her forehead but she turned her head away from me and looked straight ahead, locking her gaze onto the table top.


I sighed, hurt and suddenly tired from bearing the weight of this decision. “I’m sorry…” was all I could say.


She ignored the apology.

My stubborn beauty…

Carlisle spoke then, taking the attention away from me and my betrayal. “Bella, I would like to get a start on this…visual therapy. I’m going to have Edward turn those pictures over to me and when I think you’re ready for this part in your therapy, then they will be ready for you. But right now, I would like to see, for myself, what exactly we’re dealing with here. Jasper is here in the house for you, so there’s no need to worry about another panic attack. Edward already informed me that you need something for your occasional anxiety and I intend to bring you home some medication for that tomorrow from the hospital. So…if it’s alright with you, will you please look at one of the pictures?”


She immediately looked apprehensive, so he was quick to reassure her. “Just a glance, and then I promise I will take it away.”


After a minute of some thought she sighed, defeated and shrugged. “Whatever,” she muttered.


At that, Carlisle reached his hand out towards me. I regretted it, but stood anyway, and got my wallet out. I walked over by Carlisle and put the pictures in front of him, making sure they were face-down, taking comfort in the fact that I wouldn’t be the one to show my Bella those terrible freeze-frames.


I walked back over to my seat and noticed how Bella’s hard stare was trained on the six white squares of paper in front of Carlisle. The look on her face was one of fear, apprehension and anger. Her eyes started to well up with tears and he hadn’t even shown then to her yet.


“Six…” was her broken whisper as she let a tear fall.


“Okay, Bella are you ready? Just one picture and then it’s all done.”


She sniffled and nodded, nevert taking her eyes off the pictures, probably wondering which one Carlisle was going to flip over.

Suddenly, the picture all the way to his left was flipped face up and a sob instantly tore through my Bella’s throat. She covered her mouth with her hand and squinted her eyes to see through the tears.

I grabbed a hold of her other hand to let her know that I was here for her. Stressed at the sound of her grief, I started rubbing slow circles into her palm as I chanced a look over to the picture that my Bella couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from.


It was a picture of a very young, very adorable Bella. Her long shiny hair was in low pigtails and she was sitting on Jim’s shoulders in a little pink swim suit…and his large hands had a tight grip on her knees, ensuring that she didn’t fall off. The man had a large smile on his face and it appeared that they were at some kind of family or friend outing with the grill going on in the back round and other kids playing in a pool nearby.


But little Bella wasn’t smiling. She was looking off to the side, biting her lip, appearing to be sad and distracted by something.

For some reason, the image disturbed me. Maybe because I knew the reason why my little Bella wasn’t smiling.


Suddenly Bella’s hand ripped out of mine and she shot up from her chair.

Carlisle’s eyes grew wide at her change in demeanor when she started stomping over to him. Her movements were hard, fast and jerky, clearly showing anger as she leaned over by him and started snatching up the pictures, one by one.


“Bella…” Carlisle eased in a smooth voice as he started to reach out to still her shaky hands.

His thoughts were clear and he was determined to use those pictures for therapy.


I was surprised, and a little more than shocked, when the hand that he was reaching for suddenly shot out to grab a fistful of his hair as she screamed at him, only inches away from his face.

“Don’t fucking touch me!!” was her shrill demand.

She then snatched her hand out of his hair, as if it had burned her, before she proceeded to stomp her way over towards the living room.


“Shit…” I muttered and hurried to follow after Bella, with Carlisle right behind me.

I was surprised to see her stop in front of Emmett. He nervously looked her up and down, knowing full well what was going on. The entire family had been here throughout her dinner discussion with Carlisle. He saw her furious, tear-stained face, and her wild eyes still flowing with tears. He took into account her elevated heart rate and labored breaths, then turned to look at me.


“Um, Edward…” he said with apprehension.


“No!” Bella yelled at him. “You fucking look at me, Em. Not these assholes, “ she said, pointing behind her towards Carlisle and me.


“Alright?” she continued. “Now, I have a very fucking important question to ask you.”


His nervous eyes drifted over to me again, his thoughts telling me of his reluctance, but she just yelled at him again.


“Goddamn it Em, what the fuck did I just tell you?!” she yelled, demanding his attention.


Rosalie rushed down the stairs and stood by Emmett, then proceeded to glare at Bella. Her thoughts said that she was feeling hostile and protective of her mate.


Yeah, like my Bella could ever actually hurt him I thought with a roll of my eyes.


She was being ridiculous and her behavior would only potentially cause further damage to a situation that was already quickly spiraling out of control. She needed to just fucking back off, and I was suddenly very angry at my sister for interfering where she clearly wasn’t needed.


Bella caught her look then, and spat, “Fuck off, blondie,” at her, proving my point, before she turned back to Emmett to see that she had his full attention now.


Rosalie snarled at Bella’s comment, to which Bella responded with, “Goddamn it, go ahead…try something. I motherfucking dare you. Go on and see what happens, you melodramatic bitch.”


Okay, it was clear that we were dealing with Marie now, and surprisingly from everyone’s thoughts, they had interpreted that too. They all knew that my Bella never acted like this.


“What’s up, Marie?” Emmett asked, trying to keep his tone light. He didn’t want to upset her anymore than she appeared to be.


She realized then that tears were still spilling out of her eyes, down her cheeks, and she angrily wiped them away, slightly slapping her own cheeks in the process, while muttering “Such a fucking pansy…”


When she looked back up at Emmett, her simple answer was, “You got a lighter, Em? Dad never let us play with fire at his shithole and Edward fucking stole my last one.” She huffed then and muttered in my direction, “Goddamn thief…” clearly still bitter about me taking her marijuana away.


Well, too fucking bad, little girl.


He quickly shook his head, to which she responded with, “Don’t fucking lie to me!!” screaming in his face and stepping closer to him.


Rosalie growled then, and Marie turned to face her. “Fuck you,” she spat harshly, almost nose to nose with the vampire.


“Edward,” Carlisle said, getting my attention. “Take care of her,” he said firmly.


“Right,” I muttered, then walked over to Marie. “Marie, come here,” I told her, before attempting to grab a hold of her hand.


She turned to face the sound of my voice and started backing away. “No, you’re a goddamn liar,” she hissed accusingly at me.

I kept advancing on her with a determined, but apologetic look on my face.


“Don’t touch me!” she yelled, before I wrapped my arm around her small waist, now fully aware that she had intended to run. “No!” she screamed, then lost her composure as I picked her up. She broke down then, and started to cry.

“I hate you!” she screamed and sobbed out, crumpling the pictures tightly in her fists and repeating her heartbreaking mantra of ‘I hate you’.

She started thrashing around and kicking at my shins, clearly on a mission to just get away and escape, like Marie‘s instincts were telling her to do. But we couldn’t allow that, and I needed her calm.

This whole episode was quickly draining me emotionally. With every screamed ‘I Hate You’, and every aching sob that wracked her small body, and every pitiful tear that fell out of her beautiful eyes, my heart broke a little more. I had never wanted to do anything as much as I wanted to just go back and destroy those pictures when I had the chance.


Carlisle came around to my side, and she started using her lower body strength to try and kick out at him. She was just so angry. Beneath the hurt on her face, I could tell that she was furious, her blood boiling with the intensity of it.


Jasper came downstairs, clearly alarmed by the emotional chaos that was happening down here, and that’s when I noticed Alice standing off to the side, with a devastated, helpless look on her face while she watched this horrible scene play out in front of her.

“Jasper, please,” Carlisle requested, then I felt Jasper send the room waves of calm and I could feel Marie’s body start to go limp in my grasp.

Gracefully, I shrunk down to the floor with her in my arms. I kept her body close to mine, keeping my arms tightly around her chest, holding her slim arms to her sides and moved one of my legs to rest lightly, but firmly, on top of both of her short ones.

I kept whispering, “I’m sorry,” and “I love you,” calmly in her ear as her body slowly but surely succumbed to Jasper's talent.


Once the room was silent, except for Marie’s labored breaths, Carlisle sat down in front of us and started to gather the crumpled pictures from her now limp hands while she glared at him. He immediately handed them to Alice, and she quickly went to work on trying to straighten them out to the best of her ability with a sad look on her face.


I was surprised, for the millionth fucking time today, when Marie was the one that broke the silence.


“You fucking listen to me doc, and you’d better listen up good,” she started in a controlled, angry voice. “Do not ever show those pictures to my Bell again, do you understand me?”


“Why?” he asked softly, now that the atmosphere seemed to be calming down.


“I don’t fucking know,” she growled, exasperated. “But that doesn’t matter. Never. Again.” she repeated empatically. “Got it?”


He didn’t answer right away, so she added, “And if you get the smartass idea to try and hide the goddamn things, and I see that you have upset my Bell again with those motherfucking abominations, I will not hesitate to burn your fucking house down, in an effort to get rid of that shit for good,” she threatened.


“Marie, I don’t think you would commit arson…” Carlisle trailed off as he shook his head in disbelief.


“Try me,” she challenged casually with a glare.


“Marie, I’m-” I started, but she interrupted me.


“Shut up, I’m mad at you,” she said with a scowl.


I kissed her temple and sighed. “I still love you…”


When she didn’t respond, Carlisle got comfortable sitting Indian style on the floor in front of us, then tried to speak to her again. “Marie, what did that man in those pictures do to Bella?” he asked her.


“I don’t know. All I know is the general stuff from some of my Bell’s memory, and that goddamn speech that she gave our Edward earlier.” She swallowed thickly, before continuing. “My memories are of pain, loss and abandonment. Rapists, drug dealers, bloodsucking vampires, and motherfucking huge, scary ass werewolves. The fucked up memories of that man are not mine. They are Isabella’s,” she explained, still breathing hard.


“Isabella’s?” he asked, not knowing that was the name of the other apparent personality.

“Yes! Goddamn it, are you fucking deaf?! Did I stutter?” she asked with indignation. “Isabella’s,” she repeated slowly and deliberately, as if insinuating that Carlisle was a stupid man.

Carlisle sighed, getting frustrated and clearly not knowing how to handle Marie’s attitudes yet. “Well then, tell me what you do know. Please.”


“The man in the picture tortured my Bell. Abuse…mentally, sexually, and physically,” she said while trying to squirm in my arms, clearly not enjoying our audience.

The entire family had gathered into the room with us.


I kissed the top of her head apologetically and tightened my hold on her.


“Sexually?” Carlisle asked after a second, trying at the same time to think of and block out the kind of physical damage that a rape can do to a tiny five-year-old's body.


Before Marie could answer, I said, “Bella insists that she’s still a virgin.”


“She is.”


I furrowed my brow. “Well, then-”


“I can‘t fucking believe this,” she whispered incredulously, before she said, “Are you calling me a goddamn liar, Cullen?” she asked defensively.


“No, I-” I started, but was interrupted again.


“What, you don’t believe me? You wanna check for yourself? Shit, go ahead…pop my hood and take a look at the goods, Edward,” she suggested before smirking and adding slyly, “Maybe you can get a nice taste while you’re down there.” 

Carlisle interrupted her very unexpected sexual innuendo. “What I’m sure he means is, how could she have been sexually abused and still be a virgin?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, and you call yourself a doctor,” she said exasperatedly, shaking her head.


“What happened?” Carlisle tried again.


Marie was silent then, for three whole minutes, appearing to ignore him, before she finally spoke. “That is none of your goddamn business, doc. Fucking. Drop. It,” she said lowly, and started to squirm under his gaze.


“Marie, It wo-”

She interrupted him, suddenly furious again that he wouldn’t just drop the subject, like she clearly wanted him too. “Goddamn it…” she grumbled before she screamed, “Fine!” in his face.

Then she began the rant that would haunt me for the rest of my long, immortal life.

“Fucked her ass! Fucked her mouth!” she yelled into the room.

Everyone was stunned into silence as Marie continued on, her tone harsh, and her voice still loud, but not quite yelling anymore.

“Touched her and forced her to touch him. Took different torture devices to her virginal little pussy,” she informed him angrily.

Multiple hisses from vampires sounded throughout the large room. Marie leaned her head back onto my chest, but kept her glare fixed on Carlisle. Once the room was silent again, she spoke in a worn out, tired voice.

“How’s that for your sexual abuse, doc? Hmm? Is that fucking good enough for you?”


He didn’t answer, but just stared at her sadly, sympathy leaking from his thoughts.

I started to massage her little arms and block out all the mental images that Marie had just caused to be burned into my brain. I started whispering in her ear again, saying that I loved her, to try and distract myself. My mind was being flooded with thoughts of sympathy, and anger from the vampires that had gathered around us.


Nobody spoke.


Nobody knew what to say.


So we just stayed quiet, and I took comfort in the feel of the burn in my throat, as I stuck my nose to her soft, slim neck and inhaled deeply. The sound of my Bella’s heartbeat wrapped me in serenity, and assured me that she was, indeed, alive and well, and in my arms.

Nothing like that would ever happen to her again. She had a coven of vampires that had vowed to protect her with their lives.


She was safe.


She was in my arms.


She was home.