21. Her Punishment And Fears

BPOV

“…and then we went and got this tire swing. Do you like it, sweetie? It looks really fun, I bet you can’t wait to swing on it,” I heard Alice say.


In a cute baby voice.


How ironic…could her voice pitch get any freakin higher?


Bella, is that girl nice to me? I heard Isabella’s shy voice ask.


Yeah.

Of course she is, kid. That’s Ali! She’s our bestie Marie’s voice assured Isabella.

I looked around then, and realized that it definitely wasn’t night time anymore. How long had I been out?

I was in the backyard standing next to Alice who was giving me an encouraging, but…almost desperate look, as if she couldn’t wait any longer for me to say something back to her. Or hug her. Or something.

I noticed that the girls’ sports equipment was set up, sidewalk chalk lay haphazardly on the pavement below a basketball hoop and the basketball was sitting on the grass a few feet away from where me and Alice were standing. The 16ft trampoline was put together and stood tall in the middle of the yard…music was playing from the weather-proof stereo system around us…I recognized the song as Shinedown‘s ‘Burning Bright‘, and I saw that Jasper was helping Edward set up a tire swing on a nearby tree.

Isabella’s swing…


It’s gonna be sooo fun Isabella whispered to me.


I can’t wait to swing really high and then just jump the fuck off of it I heard Marie’s excited voice say.

Right…well, you guys have fun with that.

I sighed, wanting some answers about what had happened while I was out, and I wanted to know what freakin day it was because the girls had obviously taken over for a while. I could already tell that it was sometime in the afternoon.


I turned to my best friend and asked with a small smile, “Hey Alice, what’s up?”


She looked slightly confused for second, so I clarified for her. “Um, yeah…the girls like to switch it up on people a lot. They think it’s funny. So…yeah. I’m me again,” I told her with a shrug.

“Bella!” she said brightly and pulled me in for a hug.

I chuckled and hugged her back tightly. “Miss me?”

“You have no idea…” she said, and she sounded almost relieved.


“Bella?” Edward’s voice was behind me all of a sudden.

I turned around and looked up at him with a smile. He grinned back at me, and a second later, I was being enveloped in his arms and crushed to his chest.

He breathed in deeply. “Hmmm…missed you,” he breathed out.


I kissed his neck and jaw line that were currently next to where my lips at the moment and whispered, “How long was I gone, honey?”


“Almost a day,” he murmured against the skin on my shoulder, then pulled back so he could look at my face, but kept me in his arms. “It’s Thursday afternoon,” he informed me.


“I’ll give you two a moment,” Alice said while she slipped by us, then started in the direction of Jasper and the new tire swing.

I nodded to her and looked back at Edward. I stared at his dazzling smile and gave him one of my own. It warmed my heart to know that he had missed me, even though I had been here the whole time…just as two different people.

He never failed to amaze me. He was dividing me, Marie and Isabella into three different, individual people and loving each of us equally. Like, right now…he’s so happy that I’m back, but I bet he’s probably missing the girls right now too.

So sweet.


So bloody romantic Marie chimed in.


Love my Edward… Isabella whispered.


I sighed and bit my lip. “Edward…what happened? And what about my fine? I gotta call my dad and let him know my decision,” I said distractedly and went to remove myself from his arms, intent on finding a phone.

But he held me to him and kissed my forehead. “It’s taken care of, love.”


Surprised, I looked back up at him. “Edward, I told you I didn’t want you to pay it,” I said sharply, before he cut me off.

“Shhh…I take care of you. Not Marie. I do,” he said in a soothing voice, but I could hear the conviction in his words.


I sighed and looked away from his eyes then.

Why does he have to go behind my back and do something I asked him specifically not to do? God, he is infuriating as hell -


But sexy as fuck Marie said, cutting off my train of thought.


“Bella…” Edward’s voice pleaded with me to look at him.

So I did, only to see that his eyes were begging for me to understand.


I gave him a quick kiss to let him know that I wasn’t that mad, then asked, “Tell me what happened?”

He seemed to contemplate something for a minute, then took my hand and led me over to the porch swing a few feet away. Once we were sitting, he scooted close to me, so that we were hip to hip and I kept my hand in his.


“Where do you want me to start, love?" he asked, suddenly looking guarded and unsure.


“The beginning…” I trailed off, as if it should be obvious.

I pulled an ‘Edward move’ then, and started rubbing circles into his palm. I could tell that some of the things were going to be difficult for him to say.

God, what did you guys do…? I asked the girls, suddenly apprehensive of Edward’s explanation.

Not a motherfuckin thing… Marie responded.

Isabella was silent.


Isabella?


I played and drawed was her simple explanation.


Okay…

“Well…Marie came around first and I found out exactly how she was planning on getting that money for your fine. She’s been a drug dealer on the side,” he started before I cut him off.


“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” I breathed out, exasperated.


He shook his head. “Let me finish.”


“I’ll kill Jacob,” I blurted out.


“Not if I get to him first,” he challenged.


I clenched my jaw and the fist that wasn’t in Edward’s hand at the moment.


Marie?


It was Jacob’s fucking idea the entire time and Quil went along with it, so none of this is my goddamn fault, doll.


Right.


“Go on,” I insisted, before adding quickly, “Edward, you gotta promise me that you won’t let Marie pull her crap anymore. I mean, now that you’re back…you can keep her line, right? Just do what you gotta do…don’t let her land me with anymore criminal charges. Okay?” I asked while intently looking into his eyes.


He nodded and kissed my forehead. “I promise,” he said.


What the fuck are you doing?! Didn’t you hear his speech the other night? He’s gonna bust my ass Marie said, sounding pissed.


Like he already hasn’t come close?

I wouldn’t be getting too cheeky, doll. It’s your ass too she pointed out smugly.


“Ok, go on…”


“Well, when I insisted that she couldn’t do that and that I would handle it in the morning, she threw a fit…demanding to call Jacob. Oh, and that’s another thing…Jacob can come here and see you, but you’re not going to the reservation anymore,” he said and watched for my reaction.


I was disappointed that he was going to keep me away from the Rez…mad that he was telling me what to do. I wasn’t a child, like Isabella or an out of control teen, like Marie.

But I couldn’t find it in me to fight him for my friendship with Jacob right now. That bastard had let Marie sell drugs…and I fucking knew it wasn’t just weed and pills. Quil would have had her boosting meth, heroine and cocaine. Hard core shit that would get my ass sent to prison for a long time if Marie was ever caught.


Fuck Jacob.


Fuck Quil.


So I nodded my acceptance, and he continued on. “So then Isabella came around to hang out for a bit. She actually stayed until bedtime and even woke up in the middle of the night for a bit. But I’m getting ahead of myself…so, Isabella showed up a few minutes after Marie had fallen asleep from her fit while I was pacing with her in my arms. She likes her new movies, and markers and her doll…” he said, trailing off.


Clearly avoiding the subject.


“What did she do?” I asked.


God, I feel like a parent who is picking up their child from the sitter’s. ‘How bad was my kid?’


"Well, she had a lot of fun showing her artistic abilities by drawing on herself with her new markers," he said while fighting a smile at the memory.


I giggled then, remembering how I used to do that as a child when I wasn’t feeling well. I’d get out my markers and make myself ‘pretty’, no doubt that was exactly what Isabella was doing.


“And she drew a picture of my face, and it was remarkable. She has a true talent, it looks like a professional did it,” he informed me.

I nodded, already knowing Isabella's abilities.


He frowned then. “But…she also did what Carlisle called automatic writing. The…the um, phrases and words that she used were quite disturbing, Bella,” he said, never breaking eye contact with me.


“I know what that is…the automatic writing. They had me do it in the hospital a lot when I was institutionalized as a child. I think I have a pretty good idea of the things she wrote down…” I said while internally cringing at the memories of my time in a state hospital.


“Yes, well…Carlisle has the paper. I don’t know if you want to look at it, but it is available,” he said, but I shook my head.

I didn’t want to read it. Most of those memories of my childhood are blocked and repressed, filtering down to Isabella. I want to keep it that way. I know thinking that way will only cause problems in my therapy like it has before, but frankly…I don’t give a damn. I do not want to deal with what Isabella is made to deal with. I mean, the memories are obviously repressed for a reason.

“Okay, well then there was bath time,” he said, to which I gasped in horror, followed by my famous blush.

He chuckled at my expression and kissed my cheek, whispering softly in my ear, “You’re beautiful,” then proceeded to gently suck on my earlobe, sending shivers down my spine. He felt it, of course, and chuckled again, igniting goosebumps along my neck.


I stared at Edward‘s smug grin as he looked at me adoringly while I whispered, “She couldn’t take a bath by herself?”


Isabella, for the love of God! I shouted at her, horrified that the first time Edward had seen me naked, I had been acting like a five year old. Could my life get anymore fucked up?

But the soapies hurt my eyes… she whined as an explanation.


I will buy you some fucking tearless shampoo I said curtly, then immediately began to wonder when the last time I shaved was.

Edward interrupted my thoughts when he chuckled again at my expression. I’m sure that shock, embarrassment, anger and even a bit of hope were written across my face.

He said I was beautiful? So…that means he liked what he saw?

Well duh, doll. I don’t know about you, but I am one sexy bitch she proclaimed smugly.

“She was in the tub for about ten minutes, scrubbing off the marker mess that was on her skin, and playing with her bath toys before she called me into the bathroom,” he said, and got a twinkle of amusement in his eyes at the memory. “She needed help getting off these purple hearts she had drawn on her cheeks, and sweetheart…” he laughed gently, “the whole thing was just too cute for words. I mean, I look down at her from my book and she’s on the floor with her shirt off, a pretty rainbow around her little belly button, a bright pink arm, midnight blue stars on her hand and wrist, and purple hearts peppering her rosy cheeks. So fucking adorable,” he said fondly, as if he was talking about his own child.


Hmm…interesting.


Isabella giggled, He said I’m fucking adorable.


“So…you scrubbed her cheeks?” I asked, trying to get a clear picture of exactly how much of my naked body he saw.


He nodded. “Yeah, and I washed her hair,” he answered my unspoken thought.

So, maybe he hadn’t really seen anything at all?

Well…that’s good.


“And then she drank one of the protein shakes while I put on one of her movies for her. But taking the sleeping pill was a little bit of a problem,” he hedged.


“What happened?”


“Carlisle had to come in and tell her to take it. With some gentle prodding and encouragement, she eventually took it. She also asked Carlisle some questions, that eventually gave us some hints as to why she is so nervous around him,” he said before I heard Isabella’s voice.

Ugly yellow hair she muttered accusingly.


“Oh, um…yeah, she really doesn’t like people with blonde hair. She’s practically racists against them, or something. Very apprehensive of them and sometimes very hateful towards them,” I told him.


“Yeah, we came to that conclusion, love,” he said after a minute.


I nodded, so he continued. “She woke up in the middle of the night, wanting to play with her new doll and jump on the bed. But when I told her that it was still time to sleep, she didn’t want to and ended up whining about it,” he informed me before he hesitated.


I cringed, wondering what happened next.

Why is he hesitating?

“I eventually told her to stop, and that if she didn’t, then she was going to be in trouble,” he said, looking at me to see my reaction.


I nodded. “Ok…” I trailed off, silently asking him to just say it already.


“Well, then she asked what kind of trouble, and when I didn’t elaborate, she asked if I was going to fuck her mouth…for whining,” he informed me, never breaking eye contact.

“Oh,” was my impressive response.

Images of doing that to Edward filled my mind and I suddenly felt my stomach muscles tightening as a shiver of lust ran down my spine.


Mmm, I bet he would taste good.


So motherfuckin delicious… Marie’s thoughts agreed with mine.


I shook my head out of it’s lust filled haze and focused back on Edward who was watching me intently and smirking. I exhaled loudly and blushed to which he chuckled.


Awesome time to get turned on, Bella. Way to go, pervert.


Marie chuckled.


He inched closer to my face, wearing that same devilish smirk, and when he got close to my ear, I could hear…what…was he purring?

Oh, God...

“You smell divine…” he purred in my ear.

Fucking purred.

Mmm-mmm…and the sound was so delicious. I could feel the heat grow in between my legs, and I’m sure he could too.


“Mmmm, Bella...you like that idea, don’t you? Don’t lie, love…I can smell your desire. I wonder if you taste as enticing as you smell,” he whispered before taking my earlobe in between his lips.


I think I whimpered. And it was embarrassing, but it was the only response my mind could come up with at the moment.

He chuckled then, and said, “Are you speechless, my Bella? Do you want me to taste you?”

He started sucking gently on my neck then, intending to leave a mark.


“God, yes,” I breathed out.


I fucking love it when he does that. Mark me, own me, whatever…just keep on sucking...


“Fuck…” he slightly hissed through gritted teeth.

I put my hand in his hair, holding his face to me. I never wanted him to stop.


“Mmmm,” he moaned out, his mouth still attached to my neck.

His hand that was rested on my knee started to inch it’s way slowly up my thigh, then gripped my waist firmly.


“Edward,” I moaned his name, to which he reacted by moving his hand again.

It went slowly upwards, eventually grazing the side of my breast, and then his cool hand was on the other side of my neck, cradling my head to him.


“Shit, Bella…so good,” he whispered, then licked the hickey he had just left on my neck.

I shivered, and it wasn’t because I was cold.


He pulled away then, but kept my face gently cradled in his hands. He looked at me, eyes full of determination, lust and apologies. “We need to stop,” he whispered hoarsely to me.


I nodded, just now remembering that he was a fucking vampire, and wondering how much danger I had been in a second ago.


When he let his hands fall away from my face, I laid my head on his shoulder and squeezed my thighs together, trying to get some delicious friction to my aching center. I knew my panties were slightly damp now, but it was his own damn fault for being so sexy and saying those words, putting ideas in my head. And then he had to go and purr. And God, leave a mark on me. I love it when he does that. Take control, own me…I am completely his and I show it when I submit to his wishes of marking me whenever he likes. I only want to please him and he knows it.

“We got a little off track there,” Edward said sheepishly as he wrapped his arm around me and tucked me into his side.


I cleared my throat and nodded. “Yeah…”


“So, I take it you had the same reaction to those words that I did?” he asked, already knowing the answer.


“Yeah,” I mumbled and then blushed.


He kissed my hot cheek and said, “Yeah…so, between us it’s all fun and dirty talk, but…” he frowned then, “no so much with Isabella,” he finished.


“No, I imagine not,” I agreed. “What did you tell her when she asked that?”


He shrugged. “Just that she didn’t have to worry about that happening to her anymore.”

I nodded so he continued. “So this morning, Marie woke up and after breakfast, we played some basketball together. But then I guess Isabella missed me, because she came back around and wanted to play with her sidewalk chalk, but not before informing me that you are allergic to bees,” he said, looking at me pointedly.


“Oh…” was my only response. Again.


He was agitated now, and turned to look me in my eyes, completely interrupting our cuddling pose.


Damn it…


“No, not ‘oh’, Bella…why didn’t you tell me that?” he asked me with a firm tone.


Is it wrong that I think that tone of voice is hot coming from him?

Yeah…it’s probably just because I’m still turned on from the whole ‘marking me’ episode.

It’s scary Isabella informed me.


Agreed Marie chimed in.

“Because it was irrelevant, Edward. You already worry way too much about me,” I reasoned and sighed, exasperated.


His eyes widened at my carefree attitude. “It is not irrelevant,” he insisted. “You see…this is what I mean about you being careless and not making your safety a priority. That’s why I have to do it all the time,” he told me, sounding really frustrated before he ran a hand through his unruly hair and sending a glare my way.


Jeez, what‘s with the mood change…can we go back to making out now?


See? Angry Edward is motherfuckin scary Marie reiterated.


Okay, yeah…maybe.


“I’m sorry, it must have slipped my mind,” I said, giving in so that he would be in a better mood.


“No, no excuses,” he insisted.


“Okay, I’m sorry. At least you know now, right?” I said, trying to brighten his sudden grumpy mood.

“Yeah, thanks to a five year old, Bella. I really wish you would have told me. Is there anything else you’re keeping from me?” he asked, keeping eye contact with a hard stare.

Okay…okay, why do I feel like a naughty child all of a sudden?


Fucking sucks, doesn’t it? Marie taunted.


Shut up.


You in trouble? Isabella asked.


No…at least I don’t think so.


I shook my head and bit my lip, wanting this to be over with already. I hated it when he was mad at me. It barely ever happened, but when it did, it was usually over something really big, and he was hard to calm down.


He closed his eyes and sighed, then said in a softer tone, “Alright.” 

He pulled me back into his side and I smiled, knowing that he wasn’t mad anymore.


“Well, Isabella tried out the trampoline and had a lot of fun on it, then she played with her sidewalk chalk,” he said, but then stopped.


“Okay…sounds like they had fun,” I hedged, wondering why he was hesitating again.


"Would you like to see what she drew?” he asked with a slight apprehension.


I shrugged. “Um…sure.”


We stood from the porch swing then, and walked over by the basketball hoop.

As soon as I looked down at the ground, I gasped and looked away from it. I looked anywhere and everywhere but at that damn picture.


“What’s wrong, Bella?” Edward asked, obviously noticing the spike in my heart rate. Even I could feel it pounding in my chest, threatening to burst out of my rib cage.


“You know what the fuck is wrong Edward, get rid of it,” I said curtly.


He ran inside the house then and came back out with a pitcher of water. He poured it all over the chalk’s markings and soon, the picture was gone…disappearing before my eyes. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at him appreciatively.


“Okay, Edward?”


“Yes, love?” he responded with worried eyes.


“From now on…whatever Isabella draws, or writes, don’t show it to me. Okay?” I stressed, to which nodded immediately.


“Edward, the words and things created from her mind are things that I have blocked out and repressed. You understand? I mean…my mind obviously blocked these memories out for a reason. That reason being, that I’m weak and can’t handle it. So Isabella does. She is here solely for that purpose. To deal with the horrors of my childhood, so that I don’t have to. That is why I have a dramatic reaction to certain things from my past. Like those pictures. Isabella is fine about it, calm even. She’s only that way because that is what her existence has only ever consisted of. She was made specifically to deal with that pain. So…don’t show me that stuff anymore. Anything and everything that Isabella creates, get rid of it, or hide it before I have a chance to learn about it,” I told him.


Edward didn't answer, but kept his worried stare on me as Carlisle walked out the French doors and started walking in our direction. I glanced around and saw that Alice and Jasper had already left, probably to give us some privacy…or, at least, the illusion of it. I saw the tire swing hanging down from the tree branch and smiled, knowing that Isabella would have fun with it.


“Bella…” Carlisle said, interrupting my reverie. “I’ve been hoping to catch you sometime today. I heard part of your conversation and knew that you were around now. I am sorry for eavesdropping, but it really is unavoidable around here, and I needed to know when you were yourself again so that I could speak with you.”


I nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”


“I would like to set up a schedule for your therapy. I figure since you’re not in school at the moment, that you’re main focus can be therapy and we could go up to four times a week with this,” he informed me.


My eyes widened at that. I had never had to attend therapy so often before, but…it was different then. I’m not in school now and I live with the damn doctor this time.

I nodded eventually and mumbled, “Kay…”


I noticed their intent stares on my face, probably looking for any signs of a switch between personalities right now, and I rolled my eyes. “When do you want to start?” I asked him after a minute.


“I work tonight, so in the morning would be fine. In fact, most of the sessions would have to be in the morning, dear. I’m constantly on call at the hospital and my shifts are at night, so…is that schedule alright with you?” he asked.


“Yeah, sure…” I responded not very enthusiastically.

I was not looking forward to therapy at all. It was always a grueling, emotional experience and it never solved a fuckin thing.


“And Bella…” Carlisle hesitated.


Why do people keep doing that now? Hesitating their speech with me. It’s fucking unnerving…


“Yeah?” I asked when he didn’t finish.


He smiled gently at me before he continued. “You witnessing Isabella’s drawings, words, and actions are going to be a form of your therapy, dear,” he explained as I tensed.


I knew that it would. I just hated that aspect of it.


“It is the only way to bring out the things your mind has blocked away from you, so that you can start to heal. You have to discover and deal with what Isabella is keeping from you. It is the only way…but I think you already know this,” he guessed.


I nodded curtly, and wrapped my arms around myself to provide a little comfort at the idea of plunging head first into the pain of my past. Soon I found my stare at him and Edward, turning into a slight glare, and I cleared my throat to get rid of the lump forming there.


I exhaled sharply before saying, “Yeah, I already know that I need to rip off the bandage that is Isabella to expose the gaping wound that is my childhood, and let it air out to fucking heal,” I spat at him.


God, I was so angry all of a sudden.


“Yes, I’ve heard all of the assinine analogies and how I need to deal with what happened to me. But I just can’t. I don’t want to and I know that can’t handle it,” I said as my eyes started to glisten with my tears of frustration…and anger.


I wanted Edward to save me.


I wanted Edward to wrap me in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be okay.


I wanted Edward to say that I didn’t have to do anything that made me uncomfortable...didn't have to do anything that I didn’t want to.


I wanted him to make Carlisle forget about this whole therapy fiasco and leave me the fuck alone.

But he didn’t. He just stood there, behind Carlisle, staring at me with worried eyes…clearly showing that his decision was made and who’s side he was on.


Traitor Marie’s angry voice accused.


I shook my head at Marie’s choice of words and sniffled, wiping my eyes before any tears could fall. “Why can’t people just understand that?” I asked, looking at both Carlisle and Edward. “Isabella is here for that purpose, and she’s doing just fine with that job, along with Marie. I can’t deal with things of the past, so why does everyone want to force me to?” I asked as I let a tear fall.


“We’re not forcing you to do anything, love,” Edward said quickly, trying to placate me.


“It’s what must be done in order for you to begin the healing process,” Carlisle added in.


Awesome. A fucking team effort, or united front, whatever… just what I need.


“Yeah, well, what if I don’t want to heal?” I shot back, letting my anger show now. “What if I like Isabella and Marie. Huh? What then?” I hedged.


Great, that really does sound crazy…what, I like having voices in my head now? I like losing the time and being blamed for things that I didn’t do?

No.


I knew you loved me Marie’s smug voice piped up.


Not now, Marie. I’m having a crisis.


Oh, I know she said, sounding amused.


What’s so funny?


Are you gonna fucking cry about it? I swear to Christ, if I have to come out there and straighten things out again, our Edward and your dumb doctor friend won’t like me too much she said, sounding almost excited about the aspect of causing problems.

No, I’m not going to cry, so calm down.


Oh, we’ll see about that, pretty Bell she said and then chuckled darkly.


“That’s okay, love. I like them too,” Edward answered before shaking his head a bit. “No…I love them,” he corrected himself. “Because they are apart of you,” he clarified and continued on to explain, “But I also need what’s best for you sweetheart. And that’s for you to get better,” he said before crossing the few feet distance between us and enveloping me in a hug.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, needing his touch and reassurance so badly right now. He picked me up off the ground and held me to him as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“You’re going to do so good, I know it…” he whispered encouragingly in my ear. “And I’m here for you, I’ll always be here, love,” he said in a voice that was soft as silk before kissing away the tear that had dripped onto my cheek. “You are so strong, baby…so beautiful, and so strong. I know you’ll get through this because you can do anything. And when it gets to be too hard, my family and I are going to be right here to help you, sweetheart. You are not alone in this, Bella,” he assured me before squeezing me tighter to his chest. “I’m here for you,” he murmured against my neck, then placed a gentle kiss to the mark he had left there earlier.

I sniffled and nodded against his neck, then lifted my head to look back at Carlisle. He looked guilty and apologetic, but his determination on this matter overruled both of those emotions displayed on his face.

EPOV

It broke my heart to see Bella freak out about her inevitable therapy sessions. I wanted to step in and say 'fuck it', and 'never mind', but I just couldn't. I couldn't always hold her hand and coddle her, no matter how much I wanted to. Therapy was for the best, but damn it, I could still offer my comfort and support, if not a way out of this whole mess.

But I couldn't let myself be that for Bella...a way out, an escape from reality and her responsibilities to her health. Even if the first thought in my mind had been to just take her and run away to live happily ever after with my three girls. It just wasn't realistic.


And it was ridiculous how disappointing that actually was.


So I stood there and held her to me, offering my comforting touch that I knew would offer her some relief. I could tell early in our relationship that my simple touch had a calming effect on her; her blood pressure and breathing would even out and her body would relax.


I was interrupted out of my thoughts when her head lifted from my shouler and she turned to look at Carlisle.

"Hey..." she muttered to him.


"Yes?" he asked.


"My Bell doesn't want your therapy," Marie informed him while keeping a tight grip on me.


Carlisle sighed. "Marie, we need to analyze-" he started before she cut him off.

"My Bell doesn't want the therapy, why don't you go and analyze that," she suggested in a sarcastic tone.


"I know dear, but it's for the best, so that she can heal, Marie."


"Fuck healing," she shot back rudely.


She was seated on my forearm, as I was currently holding her body to mine. I sighed, tired of her constant attitude and blatant disrespect for my family. I also didn't like where this was heading...she was going to try and stop Bella's therapy and interrupt her healing progress.

With a newfound determination, I loosened my hand's grip on her ass and took it away, before quickly bringing my palm back, effectively swatting her ass, then kept my hand firmly in place.

She looked away from Carlisle and back to me with a hurt, almost betrayed look on her face. "Ow..." she mumbled. After a few seconds, she reached her hand back to shift my hand to the side and rub her sore spot, then scowled at me and asked in an accusing tone, "What the fuck was that for?!"


"You need to stop being so damn rude, and therapy is what's best for Bella. You are not going to stand in the way of that," I told her in a firm tone, only slightly internally cringing from the guilt of spanking her.


Wow, I'm getting better at this firm thing...


She didn't say anything, just laid her head back down on my shoulder and sniffled, keeping her hand on her ass, probably scared that I would smack it again.


I turned my attention back to Carlisle, who was still standing there waiting for a confirmation on the therapy schedule.

"She'll be there in the morning," I told him with certainty.

He nodded and smiled gently at me, congragulating me in his thoughts on how I was handling Marie. She had shut her mouth and was letting this exchange take place now, and he was thankful for that.


"What time does she need to be in the study?" I asked, just to make sure. I knew the second he thought the answer, but he still said it aloud for Marie's benefit.


"10:00 would be fine," he replied smoothly.


I nodded and turned my attention back to Marie. Her hand was still in the same spot, cradling her left butt cheek now and her body was very still. I moved my head back a bit and looked down so that I could see her face. Her head was on my shoulder, facing my neck, which she was staring at, and she had a scowl on her face, her lips pursed. I knew she was crying because I never stopped smelling the salt of her tears since my Bella started crying about having to go to therapy in the first place. She confirmed my thoughts when I saw a tear drop slide out the corner of her eye and down the slope of her button nose. She sniffled, and I grabbed her chin so that she would lift her head and look at me. When she did, she looked me square in the eye, that adorable scowl never leaving her face.


Aw...my angry little kitten.


"She'll be there," I spoke my words for Carlisle, but my gaze never left Marie's. I squinted my eyes, daring her to argue before I cocked my head to the side a bit and asked her lowly, "Won't you, baby?"


She stared into my penetrating gold eyes for a few seconds before she found the truth in my silent threat to spank her again, then finally nodded, silently answering my question.


"Tell him," I said, nodding in Carlisle's direction before adding through gritted teeth, "And your tone with him had better be respectful from now on," I warned.


Ever so slowly, almost purposefully, as if she was being that slow just to try and piss me off, or get a rise out of me, she turned her head until she was looking at Carlisle again. He smiled, encouraging her to speak, and when she finally did, I almost wished that she had kept her mouth shut.


"Sure doc," she said sharply. "We'll all be there, 10:00 on the damn dot. All three of us girls..." she said before her voice went from sharp to seductive like a flip of a switch. "I bet you'll love that, huh? You ever had an orgy with three girls before?" she said with an amused smirk at his momentarily shocked face before he composed his features again. "It's motherfuckin marvelous, let me tell you..." she trailed off before I stopped her rant with another smack on her ass.

I would have smacked the same spot as before, but her hand was still covering it, so I opted for the other cheek.

She stopped mid sentence and screamed, "Oww!!!" shooting me another betrayed look.


"What did I just tell you?" I asked angrily.


She was testing you, just as Isabella had done last night with her markers Carlisle thought sympathetically to me.

She kicked out her feet, then demanded, yelling in my face, "Put. Me. Down!"
I sighed angrily and tightened my grip on her.


Marie, what am I going to do with you?


I already knew, but I didn't want to do the whole real spanking bit that I had warned her and Bella about...where I make a big show of it by putting her over my fucking knee.


Damn it.

I shook my head, then started my march to the house, intent on our bedroom.


"She'll be there," I muttered an assurance to Carlisle as I passed by him, holding Marie's struggling body against mine.


I decided it was best to avoid any interaction with my family right now, so I ran at vampire speed into the house and up to our bedroom. When we arrived, I clicked the lock into place, then lightly tossed her struggling body onto the soft bed and stared down at her as I stood at the foot of the bed.

Could I really do this?


I ran both of my hands roughly through my hair, frustrated at Marie and upset at my predicament. I allowed myself a glance at her and saw that she was sitting on the bed, arms crossed over her chest in a show of defiance, and she was staring up at me with that adorable scowl still fixed on her flushed face. Some of her hair has come out of her ponytail, the cap no longer on her head, and there were some loose strands framing her face, trailing down her back in soft curls.


I looked away then, trying my best to get my resolve in this situation.


She needs to learn to listen.


I can't hurt her.


She needs to stop being disrespectful towards my family.


I don't want to make her cry.

She's testing me, like a child. She needs to know that I follow through on my threats, as well as promises, or she won't ever trust me.


But...I can't hurt her.


She needs to learn that she can't just sabotage Bella's therapy sessions.


But she's going to fucking cry.


"Geez, Edward - will you make up your mind, already?" Alice suddenly whispered to me from her room. "You're driving me crazy!"


I sighed, knowing that I couldn't make up my mind. It just wasn't that fucking simple, and just standing here wasn't doing any good, so I sat down on the edge of the bed...my movements becoming almost robotic with what I was about to do. I turned and looked at Marie with defeat, anger and concern etched on my features.

I raised my hand a little and crooked my finger at her. "Come here..." I said in a suprisingly calm voice.

I was anything but calm right now.


She crawled over to the edge of the bed and hopped down. She sniffled and walked over to me, stopping in between my legs. We were almost nose to nose with how close she was standing. She sniffled again and wiped at her eyes, then stared back at me with that same damn scowl on her face.


I stared into her eyes and asked in a soft and gentle voice, "Why did you say those things to Carlisle when I told you to be respectful with him from now on?"


She bit her lip, but didn't answer.


"Hmmm?" I gently prodded into the sudden silence that enveloped the large room.


The only answer I got was another sniffle.


"Marie, why are you so intent on planning to try and ruin the upcoming therapy sessions?" I asked in that same soft voice, making a note to keep it fucking soft throughout this whole damn ordeal. I also noted to always keep the eye contact...well, as long as possible, anyway.

She still didn't answer.


Okay, next question...


"Did you think I was kidding the other night when I said that I would take you over my knee if I thought you needed it?"


Silence...and a sniffle.


"Why are you testing me, sweetheart?" I whispered then, almost desperate for an answer now.

I needed to know her thought process. I just didn't understand it. Did she want to be spanked?

This is so fucking confusing...

But...I could smell the adrenaline in her blood. In fact, I had been smelling it the second she had stopped and stood directly in front of me. So, that would mean that this is something that she does not want to happen.


After eighteen seconds of silently staring at eachother, me with a calm expression on my face, showing nothing of my internal battle, and her wearing her emotions plain on her face, sporting the same scowl and pursed lips, I sighed. I wanted nothing more than to kiss those pretty pink lips until they were relaxed and pouty again, but I knew that that would have to wait until later.


I cleared my throat, then said, "Marie, if you insist on continuing to be childish and not answer me so that we can talk about this, then I'll be more than happy to treat you like a child and pull you across my lap," I hedged before adding, "Right. Now."


It's now or never, Cullen.


I stared into her eyes five seconds longer, giving her a chance to speak. When she didn't, I gave her a subtle nod and muttered, "Alright..." 

I reached my right hand out for her left arm then. She didn't try to fight me and we kept eye contact until I was pulling her body down so that she was bent over my lap. I had it so that her head was resting on the mattress beside my hip and her ass was located over my left knee. She had her right arm straight down the side of her body, pressing into my abdomen, and her left arm was bent at the elbow, her hand by her face. She turned her face towards my hip and let out a shaky breath.  I felt her body tense, heard her jaw clench, and saw her hand curl into a tight fist.


I exhaled sharply.


Fucking hell.


I slowly and tentatively put my palm on her ass and cringed when I heard a little whimper escape her tight lips. I hadn't even started yet...


Shit. I can't do this.


"Don't change your mind now," Alice said to me from her room. "Do it, Edward. She's so conflicted and tight-lipped right now...I saw that this is the only way to get her to talk to you about what she's thinking," she assured me.


"Are you absolutely sure, Alice?" I asked in vampire frequency.


"Yeah...don't worry. She'll still love you," Alice said back


A split second later, I finally made up my mind and brought my hand down to Marie. Kind of hard...


"Oww..." she cried, the sound muffled by the jeans covered hip where she had immediately burrowed her face.


Oh my God...I just fucking made her cry!


But I trusted Alice, so I clenched my eyes shut and found the determination to bring my hand down again. But damn it, softer this time.


She fucking screamed and a sob tore through her throat. The sound tormented me.


FUCK!  I can't...can't do this anymore.


I was in the middle of fixing to have a nervous breakdown with the love of my life draped over lap, when Marie finally started talking. And thank Christ for that, because I couldn't have brought my damn hand down to her again, even if my fucked up immortal life depended on it.

I exhaled sharply in both tension and relief as I heard Marie start to speak. I balled my hands in fists and put them behind my back, leaning back on them so I could stare down into Marie's flush, tear-stained face that was half-buried in my hip right now.

Her voice was shaky and it cracked through her whole speech because of her cries, but I could understand every damn word that fell from her perfect lips.


"My Bell went to a doctor before and he made Isabella go away," she explained and swallowed hard against another sob before she continued. "That fucking doctor turned my Bell against Isabella, like she meant nothing to her! Like Isabella hadn't stuck by her side through all the bullshit, like they hadn't been besties, like they didn't fucking love eachother! My Bell just went and got rid of her, fucking forgot all about her! Abandoned her! And now the new doc wants to do that to me and my Bell. He wants to take us away from eachother, doesn't want me talking to her anymore. Well, goddamn it, Isabella is back now and you all can fuck off if you think we're going down without a motherfucking fight! Your dad can kiss my white naked ass Edward, and you can too! What the fuck, Edward? You don't love me and Isabella? You don't even like us? You've been lying to us this whole goddamn time?! Why don't you want us around anymore?" she shot off before growling out, "She's MY Bell, NOT your's, goddamnit. Fuck you and fuck your stupid doctor dad with his ugly fucking yellow hair!" she yelled, then yanked herself off of my lap.

Her face was flush and tearstained, and she looked so unbelievably angry and hurt, and she still had that haunted look of betrayal in her eyes. My heart broke at the sight of it. Her words ripped straight through my eternally damned soul.

That wasn't how I felt at all!


Goddamn it! How do I fix this?!


"I hate you!" she screamed in my face, with tears streaming down her own. "You are not taking my Bell away from me!" she cried desperately, putting a hand to her chest as the words 'my Bell' came out of her mouth.


She turned and stomped towards the bathroom then, entering it and slamming the door closed with such force that the door frame actually shook. The sound of the lock clicking followed soon after, and I heard her body sliding down against the door as loud, wracking sobs tore up her throat. She continued to cry as she sat on the tiled floor on the other side of the door.


I immediately went to the bathroom door, and was going to just break it down to get to her. My anxiety was spiked to full force and my need to comfort her was so intense right now, that I could actually feel my body begin to shake and shudder with the intensity of it.


"Don't, Edward..." Alice whispered to me.


"Goddamn it, Alice. My mate...she fucking needs me!" I yelled, not even bothering with the vampire frequency bullshit anymore.


"I know! Just give her a minute," she advised, appearing by my side in a flash. "Sometimes girls just need to...cry it out," she explained while placing a comforting hand on my arm.


I growled, not liking the feelings coursing through me. Anxiety, sadness, anger, and my fucking intense need to comfort the fragile girl on the other side of that damn door.

"She needs me," I repeated quickly, not even realizing that I had taken a protective stance over the bathroom door.


"Sit on the other side of the door, right here..." Alice said, pointing to a spot that I knew was perfectly opposite of Marie's sobbing form.


I quickly sat down and put my ear up against the door. I could feel her body heat coming through the wood and it offered a small sliver of comfort to my anxiety-riddled body.


"Just talk to her," Alice whispered, then left the room.


"Marie...baby Isabella...my Bella..." I sucked in a sharp breath at the sound of all my girls' names coming out of my mouth.

I just needed to fucking hold her right now. I didn't care which one I got, I just needed them. I cringed and clenched my jaw as the sounds of Marie's cries filled my ears, the vibrations on the door from the sobs wracking her small body were subtly shaking my own body.

"I love you...I fucking love you so much. Always. Always, baby girl. Marie I love you so much. I love your attitude and smart mouth, and your playfulness. I'm sorry if you misunderstood the reasoning for therapy, sweetheart...ugh, I'm so fucking sorry! I don't feel like that. At all, baby...I love you. I want you. I swear it. Isabella, you make me so happy...I love you. My silly baby girl, I want you to come back out and play with me. I swear to God, I'll learn how to play that game you called 'house' and we'll play it all day long if you want. My Bella, you are my life...I love you so much. I don't exist without you..."

I continued to ramble on, pleading through the door as I confessed my heart to the three loves of my life,  just wishing that she would open the fucking door already so that I could pull her into my arms and make her hurt just go the fuck away. She shouldn't be hurting. It was just all wrong...I needed her to feel better. So that I could feel better.


She continued to cry while I inhaled her scent into my lungs with every breath I took, and kept my body insistantly pressed against the door, just like she was doing with hers.


I continued to profess my love, over and over, and she continued to be just out of my reach...